luckystrz43

Don't you wish everyone would be able to find the perfect guy? Or when you do, you would be able to hold on to them. I wish that kind of person would come around and be there to stay. I wish that he would realize what he is missing and come around, see what he gave up and come back. I cant do this to myself, I need to let it go....but I cant. Why not? Just a thought.

Okay so I finally decided what I should have a long time ago...I'm quitting band and joining cross. For all of my bando buddies...PLEASE DONT BE MAD AT US....we just cant take it anymore. We are sorry and we love you guys and this is not going to change anything but I just cant do something I hate anymore. When the only reason I'm doing something is for college I know that I shouldnt be doing it because im not happy. Please dont try to change our minds there is nothing that can be done and I really dont want to feel any worse than I already do....especially from you Bailey...I love you and you have become one of my best friends but I just cant do marching Band just for you which has been what I have been doing. I cant just keep doing what i hate just to spend time with you....we can still be really good friends we are just going to have to be outside of marching band. I'm sorry that I convinced you to join this year when you didnt want to but I think that if you are unhappy as well you should quit....there is no point in doing something you hate same for you lauren. Mary please dont be mad at me I know you wll be...dont hold a grudge, I love you loveykins. Please forgive us, I cant change my mind about this but I really just want you guys to know that I love you and really dont want this to ruin our friendship.

Wow so its been a really long time since I have updated this thing....almost a month. Personally, I am sick of it but Hannah is bugging me to so here it goes. Not that much has happened since I last updated. Summer started!!!:) So did cc camp and track camp(which is already over-it ended friday). Track camp was okay-kinda sucky cuz there werent many cute guys there and we were like the oldest ones but w/e. Soooo lets see what has happened. Started working....liked a kid from work...found out he was gay (yeah i know LAME!!! but it was funny when i found out, I was like OMG i cant believe i liked a gay kid LOL.) Swam a lot, done a lot of nothing, yep thats about it. But next week Hannah and I are going to a Track camp at the University of Wisconsin at Madison and it is going to be amazing...I CANT WAIT!! Sara is in Mexico where there is nothing to do and In about a month I will be leaving for Hawaii. Emily has a horrbile job at the pool and we go and visit her sometimes but this one lifeguard keeps staring at us...its kinda creepy. But Emily decided that we should go up to him and ask him for his # and when he gets off of work but i dont think that will happen. I never do that kind of stuff. Besides yeah im still crushing on the same person...yeah I know dont even get me started. There is a new song by Fountains of Wayne called Maureen....it is really good everyone should listen to it. I went to IHOP on friday with shannon, elyse, sara, anna, and this one kid....ummmm whats his name again??? Oh Yeah....Jim..jk! There is more but I am sick of typing and am going driving soon with my mom to get the rest of my hours (3 MORE!!) Then I can FINALLY get my liscence. Ok. Peace out.

I know i said I was over it but I totally am not and I cant help it. Why is this happening to me? Why cant I get over him? He just has this hold on me that I cant shake off and no matter how hard I try to forget about him I just cant...I like him way too much. I think I like someone else and then I see him and realize that I still like him a lot...I shouldnt like him, I thought I liked someone else then I saw him tonite and yeah...I like him A LOT! What should I do...try to get him back? I cant force him to like me but I can try to change his mind. Ugh I hate not being over him.

Today was really crappy. A lot of people made it that way...not you guys REAL friends. Lets just say that I really dont like girls because of how catty and hypocritical they can become. For example, who the hell will not tell one of their close friends whso they like and ARE DATING but will tell someone who is not as good of friends with them and is also a huge ass blabbermouth. As to your comment, you know who you are, about me being a blabbermouth and trying to blackmail you (both of you who are really staring to pis me off) you honestly dont know me very well becuase my GOOD friends know that I would never tell anyone who you like or any other secret that you would tell me. Again, I would much rather be a blabbermouth then a bitch like you. And dont go telling me that I shouldnt have gone and told that person when you shouldnt have gone and told my sister in the first place when mary told you not to tell anyone...what a hypocrite! And you (the other one who is a hypocrite) cannot expect me to tell you everything about my life if you wont tell me shit about yours. Why would I care if you were dating that person??? It isnt any of my business, I just thought that seeing as though I tell you EVERYTHING, you would tell me something and was really hurt when you refused to tell me but told other people...that was really low...an alltime low for you. And another thing do not expect me to be telling you anything else about what goes on that doesnt involve you because it wont be happening. And again...when you told me that if anything ever happened with me and bernie to tell you...I did, i told you everything and you were like you have to tell me because i want to know but wouldnt tell me shit about what went on with you and the "mystery guy." And what did I tell you??? I said, Of course I will tell you everything, we are friends, why wouldnt I? So when this happens I expected you to respond in the sam way to me but instead you chose to leave ME out and then go and blame me and other people when it didnt work out...look I am sorry that it didnt work out but in a way I think you deserved it because of the way you treated me....I would have never treated you that way EVER...but i am now seeing that maybe that wont be the case in he future. Because I now see that YOU, more than anyone cannot be trusted because you are not being a good friend. You ask anyone, Sara, Elyse, Chris, Hannah, or Bailey...my REALLY good friends if I would ever do to you what you did to me and I am positive that they would say no. I cant trust you or the other person who I think is the biggest hypocrite for making a promise to me, breaking it, then going and telling everyone else but me, then blaming me when I told you. That is all...I cant even think anymore I am so pissed off. All I can say is WTF is your problem?

Here are some song lyrics that relate to my life as of right now...yeah I know I have too much time on my hands. Here is the thing though...I am putting off homework.

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

KARMA
Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore
and how you need the space, and give the keys back to ya door
and how i cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me
and still you said the love the was gone and that i had to leave
cause what goes around comes around

what goes up must come down
now who's cryin desirin to come back to me
cause what goes around comes around
what goes up must come down
now who's cryin desirin to come back to me

THE KILLERS
Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I've had it with this game
I'm breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain't close in a place like this
Anything goes but don't blink you might miss
Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I'd let a rumour ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential

HEY YA
Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it (OHH OH)
Shake it, shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake it (OHH OH)
Shke it, shake it like a Poloroid Picture, shake it, shake it
Shh you got to, shake it, shh shake it, shake it, got to shake it
(Shake it Suga') shake it like a Poloroid Picture

That is all I can think of right now...or have to time to find because I really have to start my preperation for that English essay test tomorrow during class...ugh. Okay byes. PEACE OUT!!

Sorry I deleted this for a day...it was getting too mean for me but i missed writing on it and have a lot of anger and hurt pent up that i need to get out so yeah.

:-(

Well today was kind of a bad day. Too much drama, etc. But the meet went awesome...I PRed in the 100mHH (16.7 baby) and they were telling me that it is a definite possiblity that I may go to State. 1st person to go to state for an individual event in over 6 years...since BETH!! OMG...that is so exciting and im only a sophomore!!!! I also PRed in triple but still ended up getting 6th...oh well still a good jump. But I am so pushing myself incredibly hard this week to get ready for Conant on friday. Track is not going to be the same without you there Pike...I am so lonely without you...honest i swear lol. Like I said before to Maeg track is fun but is more fun with that "one person" here. Yeah but other than track life sucks. That is about all I have to say.

So my life is really stressful right now...I have too much going on and I am starting work next week so that just adds more to the pile of stuff I have to do...yeah. So I dont know, i have kinda been feeling crappy today and yesterday for reasons I will not mention in here but everyone I want to know about it does soooo...yeah. But I cant wait for the bonfire tomorrow night and then the LP Classic on Saturday, it is gonna be cra-zay...lol. So I dont have much else to write. Ooh...I know. Never eat Fruit rollups, they are addicting and once you start you can stop...I know from experience LOL!! PEACE OUT!

So this past weekend was so much fun! Elyse, sara, emily, and I went to the movies to see Fever Pitch and it was so good! Then had to get up @5 saturday morning to go to Rock Island for the track meet. It took us like 3 1/2 hours to get there and the whole time me, hannah, elyse, roxy, chris, and liz mikes were playing bs....good times. Then we got there and it was perfect weather. So I did okay in B tiple jump...I would have gotten first if I jimped what I normally do but i still get 4th so that was pretty good. Then ran A 100m hurdles and got sixth baby...that was awesome I never thought I could place with those girls cuz they are all in the 15s and 16s. Then ran C 300m hurdles and got 2nd!! Woot woot! So all in all I did awesome and I was so proud of myself and hesik actually told me I did really well...wow a first lol. On the bus ride home I was so hyper and was battling with hannah while we were watching Without Limits...that was a really good movie, Coach Braus was crying. Then we discovered we didnt have a ride home and had to call alex who was a jerk about it. And the backseat of his car the roof is so low and I hit my head really hard on it...it hurt really bad. Then they came over and we watched Pleasantville...I was falling asleep becuase I was so tired. Then alex wouldnt leave and I was so tired and wanted to go to sleep, it ticked me off. I kept trying to kick him out but he wouldnt leave then my sister got mad at me. whatever. Well today I have to do homework then go to my cousins confirmation...fun stuff...not. That is about it...PEACE OUT!!

Here is the 411 on that past couple days. Last night had my wind ensemble ausitions which did not go to well...oh well...i just hope i played well enough to get in because I will be so depressed if I am in Symphonic Band next year. Then came home and tried to fix my computer because it keeps logging me off whenever I go on AIM...weird. Unfortunately I had no luck. Today we had our Vandercook Festival which sucked...it was sooo boring, i think I would have rather been in school and not have to make stuff up. Went to track...wow that was really embarrassing when my phone rang and then...yeah, lets not go there. Yeah it was a really easy day because it was pouring. Then I came home and ate then worked on our ap euro essays...i still have 8 more.:-( Ugh. Then I went for a job interview at Oberweiss. Now I am updating this. Ok well I dont really have anything else to say. Can't wait for the bonfire on Friday!!!! It is gonna be awesome...hopefully it is nice out...then we can go swimming jk. Welll....no lol jkjk. Ok bye my faithful readers (lol). LYL!:-)

Wow...this has been a pretty stressful week, too much going on and too much homework. AUGHH...so tomorrow 1984 is due but i only have 50 more pages!!:) Buffalo Grove Invite yesterday, that was pretty awesome. 6th out of 24. woot woot. (well for hurdles, i got 5th in triple) And friday I went over to Sam's house with Hannah and Bernie and we watched a movie. Good times...sam if you read this, i am sorry for looking at the pictures and embarrassing you...dont be mad. (even though you probably care less.) Last night went to woodfield with chris, elyse, caitie, and sara....it was interesting. Next time you guys better follow us so we dont get lost again...lol!! Good times. So I still have to read, write 11 essays for ap euro, and practice for wind ensemble auditions tomorrow. Goody! Ok..I better go and start my homework again. Bye.

I HATE COACH HESIK SOOOO MUCH! I CANT EVEN STAND IT ANYMORE. HE IS SUCH A FRICKING BABY AND WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO TREAT US LIKE SHIT! I MEAN FOR GODS SAKES IT WASNT MY FAULT THAT I HAD A BAND CONCERT ON TUESDAY AND COULDNT STAY FOR THE WHOLE MEET...AND I TOLD HIM TWICE I HAD TO LEAVE EARLY AND HE WAS LIKE OK BUT WHEN I GO TO TELL HIM HE THROWS A LITTLE TANTRUM. GOD I CANT STAND HIM...HE SHOULD GO TO HELL! THT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY. SRY I AM KINDA RANTING BUT I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW IT ISNT EVEN FUNNY.

Whoever keeps writing that stuff in my live journal is just jealous that it actually worked out with me and bernie and that she doesnt have someone as great as him.

Ahhhh...tis has been a crazy week. There was so much going on. So Easter was another typical holiday with my family. It was crazy. Then Monday was track and Elyse and I went to go fill out job applications. So I satyed home during the day because i had nothing to do. But at night we were susposed to hang out at Elyses, but Jim ditched us so that screwed up those plans. So we went to Oberweiss instead to visit Ashley and ended up filling out an application for there too. Then we "drove around" and went back to my house and watched Legally Blonde...great movie lol. So yesterday I went to track and we had a horrible workout and i threw up (probably should eat something next time before i go) and then went home and attempted to start reading 1984 but it didnt happen. Then I sat around all day, played bball for a little while. Then Jim ditched us again so we couldnt go bowling so Bernie and I went to a movie instead. Then today...didnt sleep at all, got up for track and ran a long time. Came home, talked online, went to White Hen with jason to get slurpies(but now you cant say that you did nothing over break), then Elyse picked me up and we went to go turn in our job applications. Came home and then went to get a haircut which i might add looks pretty damn good. lol. Tomorrow going bowling and to the mall with erika for a birthday present. Not the best break ever...but i cant complain.

To everyone who is on vacation....I miss you!!! We are so bored without you guys! It is too quiet. Especially with you not here sara. jk lol lyl.

So I havent really updated this thing in a while. Here is the latest news: Had a huge English project, glad that is over, Track Conference: I sucked, twisted my knee coming off the 2nd hurdle in prelims, and that is about it. Went to the guys track meet last night: it was a pretty good time: I am proud of you hannah. I will talk to you know who about that thing we talked about last night in the car. So I am now writing this before leaving for the mall to do some shopping. Both for birthdays coming up and for some spring clothes: I really want new shoes, mine look kinda bad. So that is all that is new in my life. O yeah: my birthday is in 9 days!!! :) The comments have stopped on mine, I dont even care abymore: the person is a moron. Bye everyone!! Lyl.

So we went to Springfield this past weekend and it was the bomb-diggity!!! WE had soooo much fun but Mandatory fun night kinda sucked, actually it REALLY sucked. Well to make a long story short there was this drunk kid stalking me and it was really creepy. So we got almost virtually no sleep. I'm still really tired today...I fell asleep during Euro and Mr. Passi yelled at me. It was sooo mean...cuz half of our class was falling asleep but he decided to yell at me. But i dont really want to write anything else because im really tired. I'M RUNNING CONFERENCE!! I was so nervous that I wouldnt be because of my track record for hurdles but I am and i am sooo relieved. Ok talk to ya'll later. LYL.
Maureen

PS. We all think that we sound like we are talking with a southern accent after this weekend...weird huh?

Soooo....I was sick today :(. I hope im better by tomorrow though because my mom said that if im still running a fever then i will not be able to go to school. If I dont then I wont be in the Proviso meet, and then I wont be running hurdles for Conference. So I really hope I am better. Because that would totally suck. Ugh I hate being sick, it really sucks. Okay, Bye! LYL!

I went to the mall and target with sara today. Then we went to Portillos. It was fun.
Maureen